The Decision
Mahonry Narvaez
Monday, May 31, 2010
Mr.H 8Grade
Short story
Edmund woke up in the middle of the night because he couldn’t sleep. He was very nervous about the game that he was going to play. It was going to be the final and his team called Galaxy, was going to play versus the champion from last year.
The next morning, he didn’t eat anything and went directly to the game.
“ Man, I’m so nervous about this game”, said Edmund.
TIME PASS
“! Mom, mom!”, said Edmund.
“What darling”, said Edmund’s mom.
“! We won, we are champions! !ohoo!, said Edmund.
Edmund was very happy of wining the final, bit he didn’t new that a scout was observing him during the entire game.
The next day, Edmund and his mom dress up to go to church because it was Sunday. Every Sunday, Edmund and his mom assist to the church because they were Mormons who believe in God ,in his son and the holy spirit.
When he arrived home, the phone was ringing and he answered.
“Hello”, he said.
“Yes, with who I have the privilege to be speaking?”, said the scout.
“Edmund sir”, he said.
“Hey son, you have a great talent. Do you know that?” “I watch you yesterday in the final and I’m impressed.” “ My name is Pablo and I want you to play in the minor league with Barcelona and we would take care of you until you are old enough to play as a professional soccer player.” “What do you say?” said Pablo.
“I don’t know……… but thank you”, said Edmund.
“ Think about it and tomorrow I would call you again and have the opportunity to speak with your parents, ok?” said Pablo.
“ Yes”, said Edmund.
“See you”, said Pablo.
Edmund didn’t believe it, his dream was going to come true and he was so excited, until he reminded something. He had 18 years old, and it was the age to go in a mission, that consist on giving 2 years of your life to God to predicate about God’s word in any part of the world. He didn’t know what to do, become a professional, soccer player or to serve as a good Son of God. He went to his room and started to cry. He was very confused of what was going to be the best choice, so he started to pray and ask God.
The next day, Edmund woke up early to prepare to school.
When Edmund arrived home, he told his mom about the scout man named Pablo and the offer of going to play in Spain for the team Barcelona. At first, his mom scream of the happiness but when she realize that his son was sad, she ask him what was happening.
“I’m 18 and you know that I need to go to a mission”, said Edmund.
“I don’t know what to say son, but you know that first comes God and then comes all the other things in life.” “You also know that if you choose the correct choice, God would benefit you a lot in life in many ways”, said Edmund’s mom.
“Ok mom”, said Edmund.
That entire day, Edmund prayed a lot and asked God what was going to be the correct choice for him.
Tuesday, God heard Edmund’s preys and he knew that going to a mission was the right answer for everything. Later that day, Pablo call and Edmund answered again.
“Hey kid, sorry that I couldn’t call yesterday because I had some problems in work but it doesn’t matter.” “Do you already decide to became the next Messi?” Said Pablo.
“I really can’t do this right now because I need to go to a mission firsthand, and I don’t really think that you would wait 2 years so that I can play for you” said Edmund.
“You are crazy kid, what are you thinking, mmmmmmmm, never mind kid.” “Bye”, said Pablo.
2 YEARS LATER
“! Edmund, Edmund, I’m so happy that you already here from your mission in England.” “Ohh my son, I love you so much” said Edmund’s mom.
“I love you too mom and I’m very happy to be here with you”, said Edmund.
7 YEARS LATER
Edmund now had 27 years with a wonderful wife and 3 sons. He has a perfect work and now he runs a company of restaurants all over the world and he is very rich.
Mahonry, this is a nice story. You must check the tense in this story, because you mixed the present tense with the past tense. You also must correct the spelling and grammar mistakes. Furthermore, it is an interesting story and you represented how difficult can be to make choices in life.
ResponderEliminarMahonry, you have to check your present and past tense, and your spelling and grammar mistakes. Your story is very interesting. I like your story, your story catches my attention. I liked that you use dialogue in the story.
ResponderEliminar